


And the arms of the ocean are carrying me...

by JoyfullyyoursDav



Series: Never Let Me Go (Twins' Mom AU series) [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst and Humor, Bad Parenting, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Child Abandonment, Dysfunctional Family, Elves, Family Issues, Gen, Light Angst, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Motherhood, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Prayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyfullyyoursDav/pseuds/JoyfullyyoursDav
Summary: Taako and Lup’s mother seeks the help of the gods. Little does she know that the twins are friendly with several. As Leema gets closer to finding her children, will the gods help her achieve her goal? Or will they smite her for her past sins?





	And the arms of the ocean are carrying me...

**Author's Note:**

> Part 5! I am intensely invested in this character that only exists in my mind, and I hope you are too.
> 
> The next three parts will follow Leema's interactions with various gods. Titles are from "Never Let Me Go" by Florence and the Machines.
> 
> P.S. Writing as a god with a Griffin McElroy mouthpiece is too much fun.

 

Leema, mother of the twins of fire and stone, sought out the gods for help. She traveled to as many holy cities as she could. She climbed sacred peaks, prayed over scrying bones on precipices where miracles were said to have happened. She visited temples, bowed her head, got anointed with water and wine and lamb’s blood. She covered her hair with shrouds, memorized hymns and prayers, lit candles in darkened rooms. She met with a dozen powerful clerics, anyone who promised to put her in touch with a god. Any god.

In the temple of Heironeous, the torch light grew dim for several moments after Leema asked about Taako and Lup. In the church of Azuth, a cold wind blew through the room in response to the same question. But most deities ignored her, or didn’t even hear her in the first place.

Leema returned again and again to the legends, searching for clues. She discovered one story about the Peacemaker. The Birds had landed on a world covered in luminescent fungi. The Peacemaker’s feet grew roots, and the weak and weary surrounded him for light and strength. And when it was time to go, his roots loosened from the earth and he grew wings, spiriting himself away in a dazzling hailstorm to reunite with his god. It was vague, and such a small detail given the scheme of things, but it was all Leema had.

So she began focusing her attention on gods of nature. She sought out holy places along riverbanks, in swamps, inside canyons and atop plateaus. She meditated in mud, tried to commune with horses, and felt her way along pitch-black tunnels while chanting sacred mantras. All without any luck.

It was desperation that drove her to seek out a glade of Pan worshipers that midsummer. The Panites, delighted to have a visitor, led her to their holy cave. They lit candles, sang a few hymns and prepared to contact their god, all while sending comforting smiles Leema’s way. Then they left her alone to talk to Pan or, more likely, to talk to herself for awhile until she gave up.

Leema was feeling very discouraged by this point. She had been through this so many times: the ceremony of it all, the candlelight, the sanctimonious silence and the hope that welled up inside her until…nothing. Nothing ever came of it. So when she heard a soothing voice in her mind say, “Hello, child. You may ask me three questions,” she simply sighed. Best to ask quickly and get it over with.

“O holy Pan,” she said. “Do you know of my children, the Twin Birds Taako and Lup?”

There was one beat of silence, then two, then three. Leema expected no response. She was prepared to start over in a new town, at a new sacred site. Different and the same, over and over. Just when she was about to open her eyes and stand up, the voice rang out in her mind again.

“Yes.”

Leema jolted, almost jumped to her feet, but stopped herself. She took a steadying breath. “Can you guide me to them?” she asked, and her voice shook with the effort to maintain composure.

“I cannot, my child,” the voice replied. “You see, they’re not mine. They are emissaries of another. Not my jurisdiction, I'm sure you understand.”

“Okay,” Leema said slowly. _Emissaries of another?_   What did that mean?

“One final question, my child.”

Leema took a deep breath. “Will you help me?”

And with that, the cave around her grew dark, dark, darker still. Leema opened her eyes and blinked, trying to force them to adjust, but it didn’t help. She was in pitch blackness, unable to see her own hand an inch from her face, and was starting to feel panic creeping up her throat when, all of a sudden, _light_. She was completely awash with warmth and gold. She couldn’t see anything but white space around her, but she felt a presence, steady and benign, somewhere close.

“I don’t normally do this,” the voice admitted. “I try to stick to the three-question rule. But when it comes to the friends of my Merle, I’ll make an exception.”

“Merle,” Leema said. “Merle Highchurch. The physician. He’s the Peacemaker?”

Pan didn’t reply. Instead, a smile echoing in his voice, he asked, “What do you need my help with, dear one?”

“I…I don’t know,” Leema confessed. “I’m trying to learn anything I can about Taako and Lup. I’m trying to locate them, or at least find out how they are.”

“Your children,” Pan said.

“Yes. I don’t know where they are or if it’s even possible to reach them, but—”

“Anything’s possible,” Pan told her. “But as I said, I can’t have a hand in that. It would be stepping on some toes. And we deities try very hard not to step on each other’s toes. Or we _should_ , anyway.”

“Can you tell me…?” Leema murmured. “Lup and Taako are…heroes. They saved the universe?”

“Oh, yes. With the help of their friends.”

“And they’re together? Somewhere…the same place your Merle is?” Leema asked.

There was an elongated pause. “I can’t say, I’m afraid,” the voice finally said. “The celestial potluck will be a nightmare this year if I tell you too much.”

“Okay. Do you know who I can talk to, then?” Leema asked. “You said they were emissaries to another…can I speak to that deity?”

Laughter bubbled through the white space, calming Leema instantly. “I like you,” Pan told her. “People don’t usually call me up to ask for another deity’s digits.”

“I’m desperate,” Leema admitted. “All I have of Taako and Lup are stories. Fragments. Half-true legends. I don’t even know what they look like.”

“I happen to be friends with someone who may be able to help you,” Pan said. “You understand that I can’t speak for her, of course. But I can lead you that way, nudge you down that path.”

“Yes, please,” Leema said. “Any information would help.”

“Have you heard of a goddess named Istus?” Pan said, and Leema blinked, and she was alone in the dark cave again. All of the candles had gone out, wisps of smoking curling upwards towards the ceiling. And as Leema stood, she felt something in her hand. She looked down to find a single red thread, tangled tightly around her fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> P.P.S. I hope Pan's super casual 'tude didn't pull anyone out of tHE MOOd of the piece, but there was that one time Pan ragged on Merle for putting him on speakerphone, so...
> 
> Made a few titling edits after posting, sorry if there was any confusion...


End file.
